See exciting pictures of Dads's visit at Sheehan World
electronic forum and this Photo Album

Walrus fans
at Ski-to-Sea
Festival, 2001

Previous issues
Letters
Dad eating sushi!
Publisher's Profile
Visitors
Weddings

Write to Kathy
@sheehanworld.com
for your own
sheehanworld.com
address

Obituaries

Lisa Mahan remembered

News From
The Old Sod

Al-Anon Family Groups

No More Victims

Red Cross

Seek Justice, Not Vengeance Part 2

A certain reader of The Sheehan World who will remain nameless has taken us to task over the lack of humor and an overabundance of allegedly utopian and "right-wing" views in the previous issue of our anthrax-free newspaper.

In order to ward off any more flaming e-mails, twisted notions about peace and other poodle poop, this newpaper has decided it's time to launch a new feature: Ask Dr. N. Thracks.

In an exclusive arrangement with the well-known humanitarian, peacemaker and co-owner of a 450-gallon hot-tub, The Sheehan World presents Dr. N. Thracks, who will attempt to resolve family, political, cultural, feminist, religious and romantic disputes in a way that will put the Weekly World News to shame.

Dear Dr. N. Thracks: My brother, Robert -- not his real name -- thinks that the Quakers are ignorant right-wingers who eat oatmeal for breakfast. Can his harangues about this subject be causing my Irish bread to burn? Boatless in Bellingham

Dear Boatless in Bellingham:
It appears that this person you call your brother suffers from a deeply hidden wish to have a MacIntosh computer. It's possible that he might also be Vice President Dick Cheney in disguise, or even Sen. Hillary Clinton's latest romantic interest: a space alien named Hache. I think this is definitely causing your Irish bread to burn.

Dear Dr. N. Thracks:
My husband, Chuck -- not his real name -- has responded to the Sept. 11 attacks against our country by insisting that I wear a burqa in the hot tub at all times. He says that we will never have to fear that Osama bin Laden has substituted anthrax for the hot tub chemicals if I cover my body from head to toe with this veil. I think it's a ploy to win at SCRABBLE (you know, a word using the "q" without a "u"). What do you think?
Alice Allah bin Naked

Dear Alice:
Your husband suffers from a deep hunger to have a Titanium Powerbook and all the latest software for OSX. He can never be satisfied. You know this because he recently got OSX and the Titanium, and still he plays backgammon on the Internet day after day and tries to beat you with the SCRABBLE board. This man is very dangerous. Please do whatever he says. And for god's sake, let him win at SCRABBLE!

Send your questions to Dr. N. Thracks at thracks@sheehanworld.com

Please give generously to the No More Victims Fund; the American Red Cross; the Uniformed Firefighters Association Widows' and Children Fund; the New York Firefighters' Association 9-11 Disaster Relief Fund; or any of the dozens of other funds set up to help the victims and our nation deal with the devastating attacks on Sept. 11.

Then, when you're ready for a good laugh, read some sick jokes at: http://forums.prospero.com/ab-sickjokes/messages/?msg=1705.1

Captain for hire